I’ve been stumped thinking about what I want to write about, so like any good blogger does, I asked my partner. He said “write about how much you love me”. Well, most of this blog is dedicated to that but it got me thinking. Do I tell him how much I love him enough? What are the things your husband needs to hear from you?
(Psst, we’re not married yet, but I use husband because it’s more common for people.)
10 Things Your Husband Needs to Hear From You
I’m not perfect. While he tells me I’m beautiful every day, I don’t tell him how attractive he is enough. He’s so thoughtful when it comes to me that he even got the twins telling me how pretty I am. Just the other day I pulled my hair back (to get it off my face, not to dress up) and one said “mommy, your hair is so “yootiful”. I died, my boys are so sweet.
Everyone likes to hear nice things, even men. Even when you’re exhausted after a day of looking after the kids or mad at him for leaving his dirty socks on the floor. Those are the times he needs to hear you love him the most. Show your husband respect and he’ll respect you more.
Men and women can be wired differently so these are specifically ones I think men would like to hear. That doesn’t mean that women don’t need to be spoken to kindly too, but women tend to be more able to discuss these feelings than men are.
What does a husband needs to hear from his wife or partner?
1. Thank you
For going to work, for taking care of the family, for compromising on something in your favour, anything you’re grateful for. I think we don’t say thank you to our partners enough in general.
2. You’re capable
Of getting it all done in a day, that they’ll overcome whatever challenges they’re facing, etc.
Something that really helps my partner is showing him situations where other men have persevered. He feels motivated knowing that he’s not some outlier lagging behind – but instead just needs to believe in himself more.
3. It’s going to be OK
Women aren’t the only ones who want to hear this! Men also feel like the weight of the family is on their shoulders and can have just as many worries and anxieties.
You may also worry about different things than your husband, so chances are you’ll be able to say this one from the heart.
4. I trust you
If you’re facing something difficult this is extra important. But even if you’re not struggling just telling him you trust him to care your family will mean a lot.
Basically anything to build his confidence is a good idea!
5. What can I do to help you?
You probably do so much already but this is about reaching out and seeing how you can make his life better. Maybe you could make a simple change to improve his life a lot!
If you have a lot of responsibilities it can be hard to add on more, and I’m not implying that you should take on more than your fair share. But sometimes a small action during difficult times can go a long way.
Think about times where you’ve been drowning and if you could just take the baby for 5 minutes I could get this done. Your husband has moments like that too.
6. I like being with you
It’s one thing to love someone but he also needs to hear that you actually like being around him. You’d be surprised how many couples seem to hate each other.
Sometimes marriage means bickering or a lot of coworker style conversations because life is busy and stressful. Even if you feel like you’re happy in your marriage, it’s sometimes hard to show that during your day-to-day life.
So saying you like being with him is one of the biggest things your husband needs to hear from you.
7. I’ve got this
If he’s feeling worried about the responsibilities you have it’s important to remind him that you’re OK and he can relax, you’ve got this.
This is especially helpful if there’s something that you can take off his plate. But even if you can’t, he’ll feel a lot better doing his part knowing that you’re capable of handling yours.
8. I need you
Even if you’ve got it, and especially if you’re the type that is very independent, remind him that he’s needed. Even something as “I couldn’t do this without you” goes a long way.
It feels great to be wanted, but men also like to feel like they’re needed. And if you really don’t want to tell him that you need him financially, tell him it romantically.
9. You’re doing a good job
Even if there’s things he needs to improve (we all have those) telling him that he’s doing, well, he’s a good father, a good husband, or pointing out his good decisions or hard work will make him feel good.
10. I love you
How often do you say this to your husband? Whatever the answer, it can always be more.
Remembering to Say Nice Things
I think it’s really important to remember to say some nice things to your partner every, no matter how you feel. But I’m not perfect and sometimes it’s easy to forget. Try setting a reminder on your phone or leaving a sticky note in your closet to remind yourself.
You could also hide love notes when you’re thinking nice things that he can discover later.
What are the things your husband needs to hear from you? And what do you need to hear from him?