We have an Elf on the Shelf. She’s cute, the kids love it, and my husband and I take turns putting her into creative situations. Mine are like moving her into a cup whereas he constructs toilet paper snowmen and foam bath tubs. This isn’t an article to shun you for your elaborate elf staging or seemingly excessive amounts of free time.
How to Have a Good Elf on the Shelf
As someone who likes to go crazy with birthday parties I get it, we all have things we really enjoy devoting our attention too. Besides, there’s more than enough articles out there criticizing people having fun. Which is kind of hypocritical of me to say given the following opinions.
Big Brother Elf
Recently I read an article that a professor claims the Elf on the Shelf sets kids up for adulthood acceptance of a military police state – Big Brother style. The idea is that it makes kids accepting of constant monitoring and no privacy with repercussions, therefore it will be OK later for say, security cameras in their home.
On the surface I understand what he’s getting at, but I don’t really follow how that’s different than saying something like Santa is always watching or, possibly even more commonly accepted, a God of some kind that watches everything you do and punishes you for eternity.
Do not use Elf on the Shelf to overly stress monitoring of children into compliance
The Elf on the Shelf is a little messenger for Santa that reports back. The book and creators imply that it should be a lot of fun, and something that you could easily use to stress positive reinforcement for good behaviour. A lot of parents instead use it as a tool to encourage, sometimes scare, children into behaving for fear of losing their Christmas gifts from Santa.
This isn’t much different to my parents threatening to call the big guy when I misbehaved in December, only they never did. Now kids get these warning cards or lettres from either Santa or the Elf. I’m not against these, per se, especially as a way to gently remind extreme behaviour is not acceptable, but many people take them too far. Expecting total compliance and issuing a warning for normal childhood behaviour is not OK. A good Elf on the shelf doesn’t giveyourkidsanxiety.
Do not use the Elf on the Shelf as a punishment tool
I briefly touched on the slightly overachieving elf movers who are often criticized by other parents who chose to do less or cannot do more. It’s not necessary to bring down someone else to do your own thing even if you’re not someone who will literally move the elf from one shelf to the next. Instead of calling out other people for what they’re doing, you do you. There’s nothing inadequate about having different priorities to someone else and it’s not “lazy” to do something else with that time you have. Do not compare your Elf on the Shelf to other people’s, feel bad for yourself, or make anyone else feel bad.
A Good Elf on the Shelf does good things
The Elf is visiting for fun, but the whole idea is to encourage positive behaviour and give the kids a little bit of Christmas magic. Why are people making the Elf on the Shelf naughty? It’s incredibly hypocritical to tell children to behave while yourself misbehaving, plus it’s terribly confusing for young children. I personally don’t find “elf poop” to be amusing, but we don’t do any toilet humour in our house. We’re not prudish, I just think it’s immature. Either way, the elf doing things we wouldn’t want our kids doing is probably not a good idea.
Do not make your Elf on the Shelf do bad things
No matter what holiday you celebrate, this time of year is about more than the Elf on the Shelf. Kindness Elves are gaining popularity as an alternative tradition. Whatever your traditions or celebrations, don’t only focus on fake elves and presents from a magician. If you’ve chosen not to do the Elf on the Shelf tradition, don’t feel like you have to just because it’s so popular. I personally find it really cute, and the kids enjoy it, so we will continue. We don’t use it as a way to control the kids so much as it is an exciting thing to wake up to every morning.
There’s a lotofcriticism for the elf, and as always you have to do what’s best for your family.
We’ve made some big changes to our lives this year. Celebrating the holidays is going to be better than ever even though we’re living as frugally as possible. A lot of being frugal around the holidays is focusing more on time together than buying gifts. This year I have a holiday bucket list for our family to make things more special. You can do the same with your family.
That’s why I wanted to get a head start sharing our family holiday bucket list.
My partner and I are spending our 3rd Christmas together already! How time flies. It’s been a hard transition to this new life but now we have some great work-life balance so it’s easier to make the holidays social.
Here’s my Christmas activity list
Visit Santa and get photos
Check out some holiday light displays
Watch Christmas movies as a family
Read Christmas stories to the kids
Have the kids make Christmas cards to send to family
Make holiday gifts for family members
String popcorn garland
Bake cookies together
Make some home made Christmas decorations
Wrap presents together
Write and send letters to Santa
Have a hot chocolate family party
Go to a local Christmas party
Make gifts for teachers
Sing Christmas carols at home
Due to personal circumstances we haven’t introduced the kids to religion but I grew up attending a Christmas church service every year. Your family also might enjoy spending time teaching or celebrating the biblical story of Christmas too.
Maybe put on some Christmas carols and get yourself into the Christmas spirit while you fill that out. You can also do a bucket list for you and your partner to make the season special and romantic.
I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day about how her little girl who’s almost 10 still believes in Santa. Now, I’m all about keeping kids little but my friend thinks this is getting a bit too old. She doesn’t want to tell her, but also wants to steer Christmas away from a Santa focus. So that got me thinking: what about introducing Christmas traditions that don’t involve Santa?
In my friend’s family, once she told her parents she didn’t believe in Santa that was it. Christmas was basically done for. After that, they’d open ALL their presents Christmas eve and no more Santa Christmas morning, so no more gifts. How awful!
Now, my friend’s daughter is a well loved only child and she would never repeat that tradition. But it also means she doesn’t have many family traditions to draw from when creating those magical Santa-free Christmas memories.
As for my house, we love Santa and we’ll be doing it for awhile considering the twins are only 4. If my older kids stop believing I hope they can help “be Santa” for the littler ones and share in the joy that way. Even when Santa is long forgotten I plan to fill their stockings on Christmas morning just for the fun of it.
Reasons you might want Santa free Christmas traditions
Are of a religion that doesn’t celebrate Christmas but still wants holiday traditions
Want to focus Christmas on other things, eg. Jesus
Kids are grown up and no longer believe in Santa
You want something to do as a couple or family
5 Christmas traditions that don’t involve Santa:
1. Play games as a family
This is one of my old childhood traditions. Each year we’d go for Christmas eve dinner at my aunt’s house. It was the traditional Ukrainian Christmas eve one: 12 meatless dishes after the 12 apostles. But after we’d play card games like hearts and kaiser together as a family. At your house, games can be anything from video games to board games to charades, just do what you enjoy.
2. Give to charity
Another one from my childhood. Each year we’d do up those Operation Christmas Child boxes and send them overseas to kids in need. Picking out gifts for kids that had nothing was a great experience for us kids. As an adult, I no longer support that charity, but I do support getting out there especially with kids and giving back. Toy drives, meals on wheels, and fundraising are great ways to give to others around the holidays.
3. Do your holiday baking together
Each year my kids and I make a huge list of holiday baking ideas. There’s some cookies that really only get made around the holidays in our house. We use these as teacher and bus driver gifts and the kids love the holiday baking in their December school lunches. Plus it makes our home much more welcoming to visitors. We always try and make one fancy thing together too.
4. Host an annual Christmas party
Whether it’s a fancy adult party, a family ugly sweater party, or a holiday brunch hosting an annual get together can be a great way to connect with extended relatives and friends and have a Christmas tradition. If you have kids, do a family party and get them involved in the planning, invitations, and decorating.
5. Wrap presents together
For me, Christmas is more about giving than receiving. One of my favourite childhood memories is being shut in my mom’s bedroom alongside her wrapping a mountain of gifts for family and friends. Usually we’d have the TV on and watch Christmas movies but that time together was really special to me. Now my boyfriend and I do the same thing marathon wrapping the kids’ gifts while watching Christmas movies.
There’s so many more awesome Santa-free traditions out there but these are my favourites. What are your Christmas traditions that don’t involve Santa?
Oh boy, this is going to be a big one but I am already SO excited for Christmas. It’s hands down my favourite time of year. But it also can be a lot of work if you want to make things really special. That’s why I like to get ready for Christmas early.
50+ Ways to Get Ready for Christmas NOW!
Believe it or not (ok I’m sure you can believe it) I start getting ready for Christmas months ahead. With 5 kids I’m always Christmas shopping, especially at yard sales in the summer. My closet is so full of gifts right now that I have to find a new hiding location!
Now that it’s getting cool outside I’m even more excited to fill my home with holiday cheer. Personally, I start decorating early November, shortly after Halloween. Canadian Thanksgiving is in October here so by the time November hits it’s cold and snowy anyway.
For most people Christmas is only a month, at most 2, of festivities. If you want to do all the things that’s not a lot of time to pack it all in! But there are some things you can do now to make Christmas easier later.
