I’m embarrassed to admit that lately I’ve found myself being a bit of a lazy mom. Instead of taking care of the house or spending quality time with the kids I’ve been wasting time on my phone or on the computer.
Are You a Lazy Mom?
Yup, I admit it – I’ve been a lazy mom lately. Now, I did volunteer three days at my kid’s school last week. So I’m not a complete lost case. But I admit that I haven’t exactly been as on top of things as I should be. And I’m not even enjoying the time I spend ‘relaxing’ either.
Now sometimes moms need a break. I’m not talking about that! Nor am I holding something against moms who choose certain convenience items to make their lives easier. There’s no shame in an easier life. What I’m talking about is being lazy when we shouldn’t and don’t need to be.
You might also like: “My Husband is a Lazy Parent” How to Get Him Involved
Using Work as an Excuse to Avoid Chores
Right now I have a lot of computer-based projects that are really easy to use as an escape from responsibilities.
There are times to work on work and times to work on your children and your home. If you’re a work at home mom chances are you took that position in order to be able to balance work and life and be home with your kids. If you want to be away from these responsibilities get a job outside the home.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
- Did I get the things I needed to accomplish today? Was that list realistic and I still failed?
- Am I avoiding doing things with/for the kids that they will enjoy because I don’t feel like it?
- Is my partner picking up slack with the kids or house that should be on me? Am I doing my fair share?
- Are the kids’ belongings organized? Do they have outgrown clothes in their drawers? Do the toys need purging?
- If someone were to come into my home right now would I be embarrassed? Would the state of my home be justified with my current life responsibilities? (Eg. If there’s a new baby)
- Am I feeling depressed or otherwise having problems with my life? Do I need to reach out for help? (Depression can make us seem lazy when we’re really dealing with bigger issues.)
How to Stop Being Lazy and Unmotivated as a Stay at Home Mom
Force yourself to do things. Believe it or not you might actually enjoy it! This goes for things like taking the kids out or even just running in the yard with them.
Do you household chores first. Before you sit down to work on your business or ‘lazy’ type activities (eg hobbies like knitting) make sure your chores are done first.
Take breaks when you need them. Being burnt out will make you lazy too! Make sure to take breaks in order to recharge and get more done.
When you sit down to work, work. Don’t check your Facebook page or chat online with friends when you’re supposed to be working. Do your work then catch up with friends.
Stop multitasking. Don’t try and have a text conversation with someone or write a blog post while in the middle of something around the house. Attend to your family’s needs first then whatever you want to do. Same goes for being with the kids.
Plan out your day. Even if you’re just staying at home, make a plan! A to do list, daily routine, list of chores, crafts and activities for the kids, etc. Write it down and plan it out. But be flexible!
Put your distractions in time out. If your phone is a problem put it somewhere while you work on other things so you’re not tempted to sit down and scroll.
Change your habits
I’m working really hard at being less lazy. My partner insisted that I start waking up at 5 a.m. with him, so right now I’m working on not being groggy and exhausted all day from that. There’s a lot of smaller changes you can do that will make a big impact on your motivation, though.
- Create a morning routine. Whether it’s for yourself or your family, getting the day off right will make your more productive. Even if you’re staying home, change out of your loungewear and into something you can tackle the day in.
- Eat healthier and exercise. Believe it or not, working out actually helps give us more energy. Don’t exercise so much that you burn out, but a quick workout can make a difference. Compliment it with healthy foods that actually fuel your body.
- Don’t let chores pile up. You may not live in a world where you can put the laundry away as soon as it’s dry, but you can established daily chores so that it doesn’t pile up.
Consider waking up earlier
I know a lot of us are struggling to get a good night’s rest. Between the kids waking up me up and my partner snoring I don’t get good quality sleep! But laying in bed until 7 or 7:30 in the morning isn’t going to help me get more done or feel much more rested. Especially once the kids are up.
I actually was told by a psychologist that it doesn’t matter what time you go to bed as long as you wake up the same time every day. Erratic wake up times are linked to insomnia (which I suffer from) and generally poor quality sleep.
If you wake up early, especially if you do it before the kids, you can have a few minutes to set your day up for success. Spend that time prepping for the day, working out, showering, or just drinking a cup of coffee in peace.
Set goals to be less lazy
If you’re struggling with being a lazy mom and want to break free of the cycle you’ll need to set specific goals for yourself. And no, “be less lazy” isn’t specific! Make a list of what being less lazy means to you.
Does not being a lazy mom mean your house is always clean? Or does it mean you have a home cooked meal every night? Maybe it means you do activities with the kids? Really search for what you are actually hoping to change about yourself and go from there.
Once you know what not being lazy means to you then make a list of what needs to be done in order to change that. Set daily goals.
Mental Health Issues: It’s More Than Just Being Lazy
I actually don’t think there are too many lazy moms out there. When you’re feeling unmotivated, chances are there’s something else going on. Are you depressed? Feeling isolated? Struggling with a hormonal imbalance?
Personally, I have problems with depression and especially Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in the winter time. Some days I just can’t get everything done that I’d like to. It’s OK to not be OK, and it’s OK to reach out for help when you need it.
Take it one step at at time
Another problem for anyone who’s let things slide is getting back on track. How do you recover from a bad spell where you haven’t done things quite as well as you’ve liked? If there’s 5 loads of laundry to put away, a sink full of dishes, and the baby’s crying how do you tackle all 3?
The easiest way I find to get back on top of things chunking. Instead of trying to do 5 loads of laundry, do just one. If you’re like me then you might benefit from putting each thing on a list and then crossing them off when completed. I find it oddly rewarding!
Take care of yourself if you want to be less lazy
You can’t pour from an empty cup! A lot of time we’re lazy because we’re burnt out or mentally exhausted. If that sounds like you then you need to look at your life and figure out what it is that’s so draining. Sometimes we have big things going on that affect us and it’s OK to not be at your best all the time.
See if there’s a way you can recharge your batteries, so to speak, so you can be more productive overall.
You can’t do it all
One important thing to remember is sometimes you’re not being lazy, you just have an unrealistic to do list. If you have multiple kids, a job, and not a lot of help you can’t expect every aspect of your life to be perfect. Life is all about trade offs, so that’s why it’s important to decide what not being a lazy mom means to you and setting appropriate goals.
For example, if you want to play with the kids more that might mean leaving the dishes for later.
Any other tips for me to stop being a lazy mom?
I’m a mom of two and my youngest is 3 months old. I plan to go back to school in a few years so I was thinking that I should probably start reading some academic materials to prep my mom brain for it. However, I find it hard to find the time and motivation to sit down and read or do some studying. I feel like I’m always tired. Do u have any advice?
I’m sorry – most of the comments I get are usually spam so I just saw this! I’ve done full time university classes from home a few times and it’s definitely tough with kids at home.
First of all, it’s going to be easier when the baby gets older. Eventually everyone will sleep! Including you. That makes studying a WHOLE lot easier. With that, I think more motivation will come. Now that my kids are all over 5 I feel like I can do anything! Lol.
Personally, I liked spending time with my babies so I wasn’t very excited to do much else when they were little! There’s nothing wrong with enjoying this time with them.
As for what to do now: Can you listen to audiobooks or lessons on your phone while you watch your kids, or while you are doing other things when they’re sleeping? Washing dishes, while you’re out for a walk and the kids are in the stroller, or while you do some hobbies are all great times. (In fact, sometimes I pay better attention when my body is moving!) Another option is to study things you’re really interested in, just to get into the habit, but that’s not helpful if you don’t have much free time.
As someone who used to take my kids to indoor playgrounds just so I could get a few minutes of textbook reading in, I promise it will get easier as your kids get older.
Thank you for this. I have a 5 month old and find myself not doing anything during her naps. But there’s so much I should be doing and want to do but ehhh can’t be bothered. Funny thing is when I was working, I thrived on making a to do list everyday, but for home I just don’t bother. I’m going to attempt to adapt some of these points to my daily life. Going to do a trial run and see what I like. Also all depends on if baby does all her naps without me having to rock her and hold her. The point is not to stress if I don’t cross everything off my list, there’s always the next day. I’m very much a “do all the things now” person. So it’s all or nothing. I have to work on that!
Oh Mama, give yourself some grace. These tips are not the end all be all. Everyone moves at their own pace, and we are all in different life stages. If you’re tired, it’s OK! If you need a break, take it! Don’t allow other people to dictate your rhythm. Find the rhythm that works best for you and your family. If you are providing a relatively clean environment (that doesn’t mean it needs to be spotless 100% of the time!), good meals, and living arms, your children will turn out just fine. Be patient with yourself as you would any other friend in your life. Change for the better, however small, will make a lasting impact on your family. Take it one day, one step, at a time as you move towards more productive days. Perfection is pending y’all. Don’t compare yourself to perfect; compare yourself to yourself last year, last month, last week. See how far you have and can grow. <3
Thank you so much for this comment. It’s so hard not to feel burnout with the pandemic and everything that’s going on in the world – and that leads to not being the best parent at time. Even though this is an older post your comment is a really good reminder that “good” is subjective, and what we think is “good” isn’t at all what our kids value and need.